Ever felt unhappy, empty or stuck because you feel you don’t have what you want? What would make you happy and unstuck? The default answer is usually a million dollars or more time in a day. But would that really help? Really?
The trouble is, you may not even know what “being happy” and unstuck really means to you. You may not really know what it is that you want. Sure money and time would make a lot of things easier – but we all know that it won’t fix the real deep down stuff that’s going on inside.
Consider this: Think of an area in your life where you have everything you want and it’s all working like a finely oiled machine. In this area your focus is very likely not on all the things that make it not work. It’s on those wonderful things that make it such a great part of your life!
For example, if you’re a healthy and fit individual and in great physical shape then you don’t go around worrying that you’re going to lose that. Just like if you have a meaningful, close and loving relationship with your kids you don’t spend your days thinking about how to avoid the next fight or argument. You don’t have to worry about such things because they are not part of your life. Because you don’t think about them or focus on them, they don’t come into your awareness. You focus instead on being healthy and on loving and respecting your kids. And that’s what you get more of!
Now think of an area in your life that’s not working so well. You probably spend a lot of your time worrying and thinking about how bad things are in this area. For example, if you don’t like your current job you focus on all the ways in which you don’t like it. Or if you’re battling your weight you focus on all the ways in which your body doesn’t behave or look like what you want it to. And you get more of the same! Even when you try to change something you are stopped by all sorts of fears that come up for you.
Bob Proctor, a famous success mentor, says that most people focus on what they think they can do instead of on what they want. If you’re capable of having one successful area in your life – you can have success in all areas. An important step is figuring out what it is that you want and what would make this area of your life work they way you want it to. And to know this in enough detail so that when you have that “happiness and unstuckness” you can recognize it. Sometimes in order to figure out what you do want it helps to clear out all the things you don’t want first.
Make a list of all the things you don’t want – all of them. Make the list as long, as big, and as tall as necessary. Clear it all out of your mind because now you will have to space to start thinking about what you do want. It’s a fun way to start thinking differently and taking action to create change.
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