Parents can help their children prepare for academic and life success by ensuring they arrive at school with all the skills necessary to begin their formal education. Although parents worry about whether their sons and daughters will be on target for reading and mathematics, some of the most vital skills for starting school are social.
Behavioral expectations for school also include self-help skills and the ability to maintain focus for several minutes on a topic introduced by the teacher. Ideally, the school career is a continuum that, when completed, provides the student with the skills and knowledge base needed for success in higher education or employment. It is important to keep this long view in mind from the start, so that parents and teachers remember the importance of mastering the most basic abilities first, and progress can proceed from a sound beginning.
Education and edification share a common Latin root, aedes, meaning ‘house’. Literally, to edify is to ‘build up’. The meaning of education is closely related. Educators ‘build up’ skill and knowledge in students, so that they may eventually stand firm as individuals soundly prepared for the requirements of life. Our adults must be literate and well-versed in history, mathematics, science, and civics. They must be adept at using current technology, and they must have good organizational and research skills. Accomplishing all of this is no small feat and thus, it requires the better part of a quarter century.
At the end of a formal educational process stands the graduate, having made it through countless hours of instruction and assessment. At the beginning stands the preschooler, whose academic career is yet to develop. Keeping the end in mind, parents can help their children enter the world of formal education prepared to find school a place of enjoyment and success.
Addressing the most basic of basic skills first, it is essential that the young child be completely toilet-trained before beginning school. Although a delicate subject, there must be an understanding that complete toilet training includes wiping and cleansing. Certainly, it is not uncommon for young children to have toileting accidents, but these should be infrequent. A child who, more than once in a great while, needs adult assistance to use the toilet is not ready for a typical school setting. Providing little boys with a ‘tissue target’ helps train them to pay attention and will keep the toilet area clean. Teachers cannot function both as academic instructors and toilet attendants. In the event that there are medical reasons for toileting difficulty, and if local funds are un-available for a teacher’s-aid who can give the child unobtrusive assistance, home schooling may be the best early school solution.
With those private matters mastered, the child must also have reached sufficient maturity to ‘wait’ when required. School will require that he wait for his turn to speak, his turn to use the drinking fountain, and his turn to use a particular toy. Waiting to speak is especially hard for many children, especially those who are very social. Young children are naturally egocentric, and they really do not understand that everyone talking at once creates chaos. They know exactly what they are talking about! A group of five-year-old children who attempt to put on a play will result in a group of children all talking and acting in the same area, but with little rational interaction. Each child knows how the play should go, but she is at a loss as to how to make the others cooperate. Parents can prepare their children for waiting by imposing gradually longer waits upon them. A hungry infant must be fed as soon as possible however, a child who is nearly ready for school will benefit from the self discipline required in waiting for a turn or a treat.
The give-and-take nature of conversation and social interaction is a fun learning process for both parent and child. As soon as the child is old enough to sit up and roll a ball, the parent can initiate rolling the ball back and forth. This is the same interaction pattern as effective conversation – first me, then you, then me again.
Older children can join their parents and other family members in more complex games. Board games require turn-taking, as do traditional games such as Simon Says and Charades.
It is up to the teacher, of course, to impose organization upon the learning process. Therefore, it is essential that children are able to focus their attention for several minutes upon the teacher’s instruction. A rule of thumb is that 5-year-old children should be able to follow a three-part instruction. An example of this might be, “Please get two apples from the fruit bowl, take them to the dining room table, and put one on your plate and the other one on your brother’s plate”. As children naturally go about with parents during the course of the day, the parents have continual opportunity to give their children instructions to carry out.
The child who sits through five minutes of verbal instruction about how to complete an assignment and then asks, “What am I supposed to do?” needs further development of listening skills. For many children, group instruction does not register. The younger and less mature the child, the more egocentric he is. For this reason, instruction directed to the whole group is often ignored. This is not willful behavior. The less mature child simply does not yet think in terms of being part of a group. The teacher has not said, “Timmy, I want you to cut out the circle and glue it on your paper,” so Timmy does not realize her dialog has anything to do with him. Parents can help children with this concept by practicing it with family members at home, but this is an area where time and maturation must take their natural course.
When the child can take care of her own personal needs most of the time, can wait for a turn, can follow directions, can focus on instruction and understands that she is included in group direction, she has mastered some of the most basic of skills needed for scholastic success.
Being part of a class brings social interaction to a new level for most children. In a home setting, children will interact with adults and with other children of varying age groups. Going to school places the child in a setting where he must learn to deal successfully with several other people who are all roughly at the same age and maturity level. This comes as an unwelcome surprise to many children. Those who are used to being the youngest also may be used to being indulged, and it comes as a nasty shock when they do not always get the first turn or the most desirable toy. Those who are accustomed to being the oldest don’t appreciate it when their new companions don’t follow orders as expected. When a child approaches school age, it is time for family members to impose the same social rules upon their little ones that everyone else in the family must follow.
Children who have spent time in child-care settings prior to starting school will naturally anticipate that the social expectations of school will be just like those at child care. This is why parents must choose child-care settings with great concern for the interactions among children and between children and care-givers. An ‘anything goes, freedom for all’ environment will not prepare children for the structure of a school setting. A rigidly programmed approach to child care is also undesirable, as it prevents children from learning to make appropriate choices and resolve conflicts. The child care environment should be organized and safe, yet yielding and compromising enough to allow children to make mistakes and learn from them with gentle instruction.
When the foundational skills are in place, parents can turn their attention to other prerequisites. Preschool children should be able to hold a pencil or crayon firmly and copy shapes and some letters with enough control to produce recognizable results. They should be aware of written language and understand that it conveys meaning. They should know their full names and their parents’ names. They should be able to use scissors, although the results may still be jagged. They should understand that numerals and letters are parts of two different systems, and that letters have both upper and lower case forms. They should be able to correctly identify basic geometric shapes and basic colors. They should be able to speak clearly and accurately enough to be easily understood by persons outside of the family. It is not necessary for children to be able to read or count to 100 or add and subtract before they begin school. Although it is certainly nice when a child starts with such little advantages, by the third grade those minor advantages are no longer apparent.
Parents are the child’s first and best teachers. Teaching early academic skills is enjoyable for all concerned when it occurs naturally and at a relaxed pace. Children can practice cutting with safety scissors while a parent clips coupons or wraps gifts. They can imitate adults who are writing notes or lists. Parents can make a game of finding letters and numbers in the child’s environment, such as on food packages. Reading to children is one of the most rewarding and effective means of teaching them early academic concepts.
When the foundation is sound, and teachers do not have to spend time on primary social and self-help skills, children’s education can proceed apace. Rather than pressing ahead too soon with academic skills, parents prepare their children most effectively by teaching them the most intimate of things: how to care for their bodies, how to be thoughtful in interactions with others, how to follow directions, and how to focus on what other people communicate. These are skills that are best learned and best taught at home, in the company of loved ones. Teaching and learning these basic skills will provide a lifetime of memories for children, the memories of being loved, cherished, and carefully taught how to be part of a family, then a class, and ultimately, a global society.
Brenda Layman is a freelance writer who lives in Pickerington, Ohio, with her husband of 29 years, Mark. She is a fishing enthusiast (fanatic?) who firmly believes in the healing power of the human spirit. When she is not on the water or in the woods, Brenda spends her time writing for Greenmaple Wellness Inc. and Ohio Valley Outdoors magazine. Brenda is also the author of Song of Joy, a Guide to Recovery from Sorrow.
Brenda is also a regular contributor to the Fitness Town Health & Wellness On-line E-zine. For more great articles like this one, please visit here and sign-up to receive our free newsletter once per month.
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